2 Lies the Enemy Tells Us about Being Single

2 Lies the Enemy Tells Us about Being Single

Often, we single adults don’t stress about our relationship status until someone suggests we should. Not long ago, my church’s youth pastor shared from the pulpit how he met his wife online. The woman in front of me twisted in her seat and raked me over with a look that said, “Sweetheart, what are you waiting for?”

Well-meaning though she was, she doesn’t know my story. Well-meaning though people may be, they don’t know yours. Whether through not-so-subtle suggestions or other prickly tactics, Satan can make us question our confidence in Christ.

To deflect his darts, we should consider Paul’s challenge to the Ephesians, equipping ourselves “to stand against the wiles of the devil” (Ephesians 6:11 NKJV). Dictionary.com defines wiles as “a trick, artifice, or stratagem meant to fool, trap, or entice.”

In other words, wiles are lies that parade as truth, and perhaps we’ve entertained a few before. Something’s wrong with you. You’re not good enough. You missed the bus.

When lies rear their heads like ugly dragons, the only way to slay them is with truth. Hebrews 4:12 says that God’s Word “is living and powerful, and sharper than any two-edged sword” (NKJV). It’s the weapon we need to defeat the doubt and live the abundant life God’s planned for us (John 10:10).

Lie #1: You’re incomplete.

Have you heard married people use the expression, “My better half”? While the sentiment is sweet, it suggests they’re two halves incomplete without the other. Instead, couples are two complete people whom God has made one through marriage (Mark 10:7-8).

My single friend, you’re not a half waiting to happen. You’re a whole person complete in Christ.

The Apostle Paul, an unmarried man himself, penned this enduring promise: “And God is able to make all grace abound toward you, that you, always have all sufficiency in all things, may have an abundance for every good work” (2 Corinthians 9:8 NKJV).

Did you notice? There are no conditions to this grace. He doesn’t say that God will help us thrive when we’re married, have that dream job, or are enjoying some other ideal situation. No, God provides His sufficiency always. Sufficiency carries the idea of “enough.” God is more than enough, more than capable to equip us in any circumstance.

The bottom line is that single or married, we are complete in Christ (Colossians 2:10). He enables us to live wholeheartedly where we are today.

Lie #2: You missed God’s best.

Many of us desire marriage, rightly so, but we should never mislabel “marriage” as the end-goal of our lives. We need to remember this truth when we’re tempted to doubt our self-worth and situation.

In her book I Don’t Wait Anymore, Grace Thornton reminds singles that God’s best is God Himself, not a relationship status. She writes, “That God—the One who’s bigger than the mountains and the universe, the One who sprints to us with all-consuming love—He’s the treasure, not the dreams jingling in our pockets.”

However, we sometimes confuse God’s best with God’s gifts. A verse that often trips up unmarried adults is Psalm 84:11, which says, “No good thing will He withhold from those who walk uprightly” (NKJV). Wait. Are we not upright? Is that why God hasn’t given us the gift of marriage?

That’s the wrong question—another falsehood aimed at our hearts. A godly friend explained the verse this way: “If it’s good for me, it will be.” God knows what’s good for us, and His timing is perfect. Thank him and trust Him for that.

Related Post: Six Steps to Finding the Relationship of Your Dreams

For now, let’s get out there, and be the light this world needs. God has called us to this place, this time, and these people. Refuse to let lies steal the abundant life we can be living right here, right now.

Written by Kristen Hogrefe

My goal is to think truthfully and live daringly in everyday life. I pray that God’s light will shine through my books, blog, and personal walk to point people to Jesus Christ and His awesome plan for them.

11 thoughts on “2 Lies the Enemy Tells Us about Being Single

  1. What a great reminder. The only thing that will calm nerves and settle fears are the truths of God. He speaks to us with such love and great purpose, nothing the enemy tries to tell us can withstand.

    “When lies rear their heads like ugly dragons, the only way to slay them is with truth.”

    Whenever we have doubts, fears, or anxieties take it to pray and be reminded of the truths Gods speaks over us!

    1. Thanks so much for your comment, Virginia. You’re exactly right! The God we serve calmed raging seas, and He can certainly calm our fears as well.

  2. Glory Halleluyah!!! Thank you Lord Jesus for sufficiency in U. I could’t agree more with this piece. This is the mindset that the Church still lacks today. But a revolution is coming, when the Body of Christ will understand how complete we truly are in Him. I was blessed Praise God, and thank you for sharing.

    1. Thank you so much, Britney! I love that word “sufficiency,” because that’s what the Lord is for us (2 Corinthians 3:5). I’m glad this post was a blessing 🙂

  3. This a really good post Kristen! I’m married but I couldn’t agree more with what you wrote here today. I was single for a long time before getting married (in today’s world’s standards) and I really learned who I was in God during that time; 100% content on my own. Great word here Kristen!

    1. Thanks, Alex! I completely agree; we have to be content in whatever circumstances God places us … sometimes easier said than done. But today is God’s provision for us, and we can trust him for whatever tomorrow holds. Thanks for your comment!

  4. I know exactly what your talking about here, it was the Lord who provided my wife at 49 – and I knew it without a doubt as it was made blatantly clear to me! Yet systematic theologies (Chuurch) insisted that I use their adult group to meet my spouse, as actually they move independent of the Lord according to their own understanding, and will not even recognise normally an actual work of God! I think Church actually destroys the workings of the Holy Spirit in some one, as it is of the “Spirit of Antichrist” in accordance with how the Apostle John originally coined the phrase.

    1. Yes, Roland, I agree that the church sometimes doesn’t know what to do with singles, and as a result, many godly singles feel isolated or ignored. While I’ve had my share of interesting experiences in the church, I’ve also experienced some edifying adult groups too. There’s a mix of both, and I think as long as we stay grounded in our identity in Christ, we singles can learn to smile through the awkward times and appreciate even more the good. Thanks for your comment, and blessings to you and your wife!

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