Often, we single adults don’t stress about our relationship status until someone suggests we should. Not long ago, my church’s youth pastor shared from the pulpit how he met his wife online. The woman in front of me twisted in her seat and raked me over with a look that said, “Sweetheart, what are you waiting for?”
Well-meaning though she was, she doesn’t know my story. Well-meaning though people may be, they don’t know yours. Whether through not-so-subtle suggestions or other prickly tactics, Satan can make us question our confidence in Christ.
To deflect his darts, we should consider Paul’s challenge to the Ephesians, equipping ourselves “to stand against the wiles of the devil” (Ephesians 6:11 NKJV). Dictionary.com defines wiles as “a trick, artifice, or stratagem meant to fool, trap, or entice.”
In other words, wiles are lies that parade as truth, and perhaps we’ve entertained a few before. Something’s wrong with you. You’re not good enough. You missed the bus.
When lies rear their heads like ugly dragons, the only way to slay them is with truth. Hebrews 4:12 says that God’s Word “is living and powerful, and sharper than any two-edged sword” (NKJV). It’s the weapon we need to defeat the doubt and live the abundant life God’s planned for us (John 10:10).
Lie #1: You’re incomplete.
Have you heard married people use the expression, “My better half”? While the sentiment is sweet, it suggests they’re two halves incomplete without the other. Instead, couples are two complete people whom God has made one through marriage (Mark 10:7-8).
My single friend, you’re not a half waiting to happen. You’re a whole person complete in Christ.
The Apostle Paul, an unmarried man himself, penned this enduring promise: “And God is able to make all grace abound toward you, that you, always have all sufficiency in all things, may have an abundance for every good work” (2 Corinthians 9:8 NKJV).
Did you notice? There are no conditions to this grace. He doesn’t say that God will help us thrive when we’re married, have that dream job, or are enjoying some other ideal situation. No, God provides His sufficiency always. Sufficiency carries the idea of “enough.” God is more than enough, more than capable to equip us in any circumstance.
The bottom line is that single or married, we are complete in Christ (Colossians 2:10). He enables us to live wholeheartedly where we are today.
Lie #2: You missed God’s best.
Many of us desire marriage, rightly so, but we should never mislabel “marriage” as the end-goal of our lives. We need to remember this truth when we’re tempted to doubt our self-worth and situation.
In her book I Don’t Wait Anymore, Grace Thornton reminds singles that God’s best is God Himself, not a relationship status. She writes, “That God—the One who’s bigger than the mountains and the universe, the One who sprints to us with all-consuming love—He’s the treasure, not the dreams jingling in our pockets.”
However, we sometimes confuse God’s best with God’s gifts. A verse that often trips up unmarried adults is Psalm 84:11, which says, “No good thing will He withhold from those who walk uprightly” (NKJV). Wait. Are we not upright? Is that why God hasn’t given us the gift of marriage?
That’s the wrong question—another falsehood aimed at our hearts. A godly friend explained the verse this way: “If it’s good for me, it will be.” God knows what’s good for us, and His timing is perfect. Thank him and trust Him for that.
Related Post: Six Steps to Finding the Relationship of Your Dreams
For now, let’s get out there, and be the light this world needs. God has called us to this place, this time, and these people. Refuse to let lies steal the abundant life we can be living right here, right now.