Everyone seems to have an opinion, especially on sex. The world is telling us to lie after lie about what we should believe. The world has devalued sexuality to be a casual, passionless act. We’ve walked away from making love, and we’ve abandoned the core of what it is and why it’s there in the first place. We have sex; we have it casually and without the committed intimacy that it was designed for.
1) Casual Sex is a Normal Thing
I’ve done many casual things; lounging around at home on a day off, for instance, is a casual thing. Watching a movie or having a barbecue, these are casual activities. Sex is not casual. The words ‘casual’ and ‘sex’ were never designed to go together. I think a good rule of thumb for whether something is casual or not is “If you can’t (or really shouldn’t…) do it in front of other people, it is not causal.” Making sex out to be a casual thing devalues it.
Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a person commits are outside the body, but whoever sins sexually, sins against their own body. Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your bodies 1 Corinthians 6:18-20
2) If We Do Save it, it’s Because it’s Unnatural
Saving it for marriage does not make it unnatural. You don’t put garbage in a safe; you fill it with valuables. Sex is supposed to stay in the safe because it is valuable, not because it is unnatural. God created sex, it IS a natural thing, and the progression of relationships to marriage and then leading up to sex is also natural. If it wasn’t good, and it wasn’t natural, why would anyone want it? God didn’t just create sex. He told us to have it.
God blessed them; and God said to them, “Be fruitful and multiply, and fill the Earth…” – Genesis 1:28a
From this half of a verse, we can glean that…
1. God blesses it
2. God designed it
3. It’s for US
He designed it for us to be shared between husband and wife. That’s why he didn’t just give it to Adam OR Eve. He blessed THEM and said to THEM. It was a gift given for both of them to be shared inside of their marriage bond. The same is true for us today. He blessed it and gave it to us to share with our spouses.
3) We Need to Test Our Compatibility
Last I checked, there are many things to figure out to make a relationship work, and sexual compatibility is not one of the key things. If everything else lines up, I can guarantee that the sexual aspect will not be a mismatch. We are designed for that, after all. We have expectations to either meet or change, and there are needs that we need to learn to meet for each other, character traits, and habits to understand. There is so much to learn about a person that there is no room for sex in dating.
Related Post: Marriage Oneness – Sexual Intimacy
We can and need to learn to love each other without it first. If we don’t, we forget that we’re supposed to be learning about each other, and when we DO get to marriage, we find that the person we married isn’t the person we thought they were. The point of dating is to get to know each other, not to share a bed with each other.