When I take a moment to think about how blessed I am to be part of a blended family, I remember how much God loves me. I think about how God loves me enough to give me another chance. I enjoy being a bonus parent, and it’s an honor that God entrusted me with this title in life. Remember, blended families aren’t just racially blended; they are adopted children, bonus parents, bonus children, and families brought together that are not blood-related, but still considered family. We are all God’s children.
“Yet to all who did receive him, to those who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God.”
After my divorce, I wasn’t sure what God had in store for me. But I did know one thing for sure; children were going to be in my future. Whether my own biological children or an extension of someone else’s family, I was going to have the opportunity to impact the lives of children in some fashion. Never did I think I would be this blessed to acquire three kids that I call my own. They are my joys, God’s presents. Perhaps God will soon bless Obadiah and I with a fourth child, but that’s a story for another time… Prayerfully.
Family. That word provokes some type of memories for all of us. For some of us, family is a blessed word. For others, the memories are a combination of good and bad. Research shows, about 40 percent of American families are blended. In my opinion, what better way to spread love to those who you wouldn’t have known any other way? Blended doesn’t mean bad. I pray as you read this, you’ll come to accept blended families as a normal family…because we are.
Family: To blend, or not to blend
I, fortunately, or unfortunately, came from a blended family. My father remarried, as did my biological mother. Although I do not have communication with my biological mother (her choice). I am very close with my biological father and my stepmother. There came a point in my life where the emotional, mental, and physical abuse became too much for me to handle. I finally spoke up, and my father fought for two years to get custody of me when I was 13. That was a true blessing, and probably why I will always call myself daddy’s little girl.
Related Post: Accepting God’s Schedule Change
Without my father and stepmother, I would not be where I am today as a wife, as a bonus mom, a daughter, a career-minded woman, or spiritually strong. My parents kept me in church and even a private school. I feel like it was a blessing to come from a blended family. I was able to learn from a woman who was not required to love me but chose to love me.
“Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.”
The bonus mom’s role is to come alongside her husband and be a helpmate in parenting children. Stepping into a parenting role takes time and does not happen overnight. Quite honestly, the father of the children may even push for this to happen more quickly than it should. In my opinion, this can backfire if it is not done with grace, mercy, and an open heart.
Christian blended families can find themselves caught in a holding pattern around God and His church. Some are unable to feel or seek His love for feeling ashamed, different, and sometimes even guilty.
Forgiveness and redemption for all.
Blended families and church leaders all should understand this critical message: There are no second-class citizens in God’s kingdom. This is simply because there are no first-class citizens in God’s kingdom. We are all sinners in need of Jesus. We are in need of a Savior. If God could use imperfect men like Abraham and David with complicated family households for His purposes, why can’t He use people in blended families? He can and He does! If God can bring redemption to the houses of Isaac and Jacob, can’t He bring redemption to yours?
The exciting message of the cross is this:
God loves and forgives the imperfect people in blended families just like He does the imperfect people in biologically intact families.
He is ready, willing, and able to welcome blended families into righteousness. The only question is: Will you step up to receive his forgiveness?