Fighting Against Insecurities

Everybody has insecurities. Insecurity is not something we can see or touch; it's hidden, resides behind decisions, and often manifested in our behaviors.

Fighting Against Insecurities

Wholeness is an ideal reality each one of us strives to achieve and a state of mind in which wish to find ourselves. We live in times where everything is moving, moving fast. We live in times where the world has so much to offer. The brilliance of minds is reaching its peak; the advancement in technology and the development in politics. Although many of us can’t bear witness to this, history can testify that things aren’t the way they used to be back in the old days. Also, safe to say this era is far better than any other eras in the history of humankind.

We live in times where creativity no longer lives in a cage, and we are mesmerized by what human brains can do; imagination beautifully turning into reality. The natural gifted human brain has been the epicenter of all of these breathtaking developments we see in the world. The core reason behind this evolution throughout all eras always had one purpose: To satisfy the human needs/ To meet the needs of human beings. Our needs have been the catalyst to the evolution of the entire humanity.

We’ve created systems to meet our needs. We have built cultures and traditions to help our survival here on earth. Moreover, we are still building. Why? Because human needs are endless. We are always in demand for something. That is not our fault, we came to earth with empty bags, and so we are trying to fill our bags as much as we can, and sadly that is never enough.

Nobody has it all together

Unfortunately, the principle of life advises us that we cannot have it all together, and we have to live long enough to realize it. Sometimes we spend many of our years refusing to embrace it. This reality is no one is whole. No one is a complete package, and no one has a complete life. There are things in life we lack, and that is fine. However, when we start to worry, we then become insecure. So that’s when insecurity creeps in.

Real talk

Before we go any further, let us address the elephant in the room, shall we?

Everybody has insecurities. Don’t allow confidence and outlooks fool you. Don’t let authority, race, or positions fool you. Insecurity is not something we can see or touch; it’s hidden, residing behind decisions and often manifesting in our behaviors. Think of insecurity has an iceberg.

Related Post: 3 Lessons From Limitations

Our great friend Wikipedia describes an Iceberg as “a large piece of freshwater ice that has broken off a glacier or ice shelf and is floating freely in open (salt) water.” One thing we always notice is the tip of the iceberg, but we forget that there is another chunk of ice, almost 90 percent of an iceberg that is under water. The portion of ice underwater holds the iceberg to float and flashes the beauty of the tip. It is quite remarkable to think human life can resonate with an iceberg. The portion of ice underwater represents ‘Insecurity.’

Now you might ask ‘how does insecurity hold me to float like a tip of an iceberg’? The answer is simple. The tip of the iceberg is your actions, your outlook, your life, but everything that holds you and makes you do what you do is your motive, and insecurity pollutes your motive.

The cause of Insecurity

Insufficiency and incompleteness

Insecurity begins with insufficiency. Incompleteness triggers insecurities. We feel insecure when certain aspects or specific areas in our lives are incomplete or not as perfect as we wish they would be.

You might be complete in your schooling/studies but incompetent at a sport. You might be excellent with music but not so good with social life. You might be thriving in business but the opposite with your marriage or relationship. Might have an attractive appearance but not be competent academically. You might be good with physical work but not so good with technology. You might have a beautiful face but bad hair, Etc. We can keep on adding to that list.

The biggest mistakes we make is squandering time and resources trying to complete these areas. Our prime focus should be on the things that are complete and areas we have an advantage. Each one of us has areas in life where the strength lies, and that is the advantage. Pride yourself in the things that are complete because that is your advantage. If you want to win in life every day, reminisce, rejoice, and pride yourself over what you have and what you can do. Know what your strengths are and use that. Praise God for the gifts He’s blessed you with.

When an Eagle wants to kill a snake, it usually swoops on a snake, grabbing its talons and takes it airborne because in the air the Eagle has an advantage. That is where the Eagle’s strength lies. It would be ineffective trying to wrestle the bird on the ground or in the water. So don’t cry over what you don’t have or what you can’t get, instead use what you have and take the advantage.

The Desire To Be In Control Brings Insecurity

The need to be in control brings insecurity. If you have no control over your face, your appearance, or your body, of course, you would feel insecure. If you have no control over your job or your career, you would feel insecure. If you lose control over your marriage, your relationship, or your partner, that will result in you feeling insecure. Control is such a crucial element of power for human beings. It is part of our nature to desire control. We are naturally created with this survival mentality and crave for power. Human beings are, by nature, control-freaks, and nothing is wrong with that considering the challenges life puts us in.

As much as we love to be in control of every areas and aspect in our lives, we also need to realize that we can’t have it all together. Life is all about balance. It is not just about materials; this is also about the psychology within. There are certain things in life you can’t control, and that’s okay. It’s okay because we serve a God who is in control.

“But godliness with contentment is great gain.” 1 Timothy 6:6

Those who have lived a long life would testify that not everything in life is worth controlling. If you can’t change it, then leave it alone. Maturity is when we learn to spot when it is time to walk away. Forcing it might break it.

Contentment is when we focus on what is under our control, what we can change, and where our strength lies.

So basically

Life is not complicated, but we make it complicated. Nobody is whole, and nobody is perfect. Nobody has it all together. No one’s life is complete. Nobody has learned everything and understood everything. We are all students of life for life. Everybody has insecurities because each one of us has areas in life that are insufficient, incomplete, and uncontrollable. We need to identify and focus on areas where the strength lies because those are our advantages. When a soldier goes to war, they don’t take weapons they don’t know how to use, the same applies to us. If we want to win in life, we have to start using weapons we know very well.

And we find wholeness as we read God’s words to us: “My power is made perfect in weakness” (2 Corinthians 12:9). For truly we know that in all things He alone is our strength. He is the provider of our skills and areas of expertise, and He brings completion where we fall short. So we wield well the weapons He has given us, and we trust Him to take care of the rest.

Question from Marc Bope, the author.

What insecurities are you currently fighting in your life?

Written by Marc Bope

Follower of Christ. Living in Adelaide South Australia. I love sharing my story and my experience through writing.

4 thoughts on “Fighting Against Insecurities

  1. I’m known for being courageous, fearless, bold, and inspiring. Even when I try explaining to people that things do scare me, many don’t believe me. Maybe that’s because I am blind and don’t let it get in my way. But after Alex’s comment I feel it’s important to share my own recent experience with insecurity. I recently traveled to Witchitaw Kansas to help my stylist teach a group of blind students skills they would need when entering the work force. I realized that the woman I am working with has the ability to make me feel inferior and secure. I don’t think she did it on purpose. And I have to remember that this was an important stressful event for her career. However, it just shows that there are those people either because of their personality or because of power we give them that they can make us feel less than valuable. they can make us fade into the background. When this happens you have to find those moments that do remind you of your confident self. In my case it was hearing from the students how the skills we taught them changed their lives. Going forward, I believe being reminded that there are people, events, and situations that can put me on my heels is something that will help me prepare for them and better deal with them when they happen. Because we can be sure there are going to be more times when we feel inadequate and are going to have to find ways to pull ourselves away from negative thoughts and comfort ourselves with those things we are good at. Thanks for the post, Max

  2. This is a great post man! Love it! My big insecurity right now is with my new business start up. I think we all question whether we have what it takes or not. That’s me right now. This was very helpful. Thank you!

    1. Alex; Thanks for sharing your own insecurity. First, because this is the kind of comment every author dreams of. It’s proof that you created something truly beautiful. Second because I know you personally and your sharing this gives me the opportunity to tell you that your new business is definitely needed and I have no doubt it will succeed. Thanks again for your honesty, Max

  3. This is a great post. I have a lot less insecurities now than I did a few years ago through seeking God for my healing and to be whole. I think surrendering control is the biggest one for me. Thank you for sharing!

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