Good Father

God Brings Healing

I prayed for healing for what felt like an eternity, but in all actuality it had only been 10 months.  10 months of struggling through illness. A illness that robbed a lot from me in a short amount of time. In the end of December 2015 (only 4 short months after bringing the kids home to the states) I was diagnosed with Chronic Idiopathic Urticarial. 10 days after I received a TDAP injection my body and immune system went haywire. I had no idea what I would endure for the next 10 months. I’m glad I didn’t know ahead of time, because I may not have had the strength to get through it.

The months following meant modifying my diet to a list of about 10 acceptable food items my body could “somewhat” tolerate. Taking obscene amounts of prescription drugs, including prednisone and immunosuppressant therapies to try to keep my symptoms at bay. An extreme measure to bring comfort to get through the day with my raging hives and swollen body.

Healing in the Making

After 11 months of seeing specialists, doctors and holistic practitioners, God was doing work in my heart and in my life. I finally started to feel like I was having a breakthrough in my healing. After divine appointments of coming in contact with people who provided answers, I had begun a regiment of holistic healing that really and truly was bringing my body some restoration, but it wasn’t complete. It was until December of 2016 that I would discover what God was doing to bring my complete healing… I was pregnant.

To be honest finding out I was pregnant was the shock of a lifetime. Something my husband and I have both always agreed on is we were never going to pursue conceiving biological children. We knew God put adoption on our hearts and we couldn’t see how a biological child was necessary when adopting more children is on our hearts. We obviously took the necessary precautions to prevent pregnancy, but due to my illness, it was recommended by a doctor to stop taking artificial hormones, as they could be causing a hormonal disturbance.  This could be setting off my immune system even further.

Related Post: Believe in the Impossible

Without thinking I did. I was desperate to feel better. I wanted to do anything that could insure that my body would come back into homeostasis. Looking back I can see how God had to deal with my husbands and I stubborn hearts over the control we wanted over our lives and family. After wrapping my head around the shock of this pregnancy, I felt like God was removing layers of a hardened and stubborn heart that was certain it knew better than the God of the universe.  HE was pruning me and showing me the intricate plans He had that I couldn’t comprehend. He showed me that my illness was never in vain, but that every moment was purposeful in bringing me to the moment I was in today. The bible speaks a lot about pruning.

John 15 tells us:

“I am the true vine, and my Father is the vinedresser.  Every branch in me that does not bear fruit he takes away, and every branch that does bear fruit he prunes, that it may bear more fruit… As the branch cannot bear fruit by itself, unless it abides in the vine, neither can you, unless you abide in me. I am the vine; you are the branches. Whoever abides in me and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit, for apart from me you can do nothing. If anyone does not abide in me he is thrown away like a branch and withers; and the branches are gathered, thrown into the fire, and burned… By this my Father is glorified, that you bear much fruit and so prove to be my disciples.

It took the revelation of knowing the life growing inside of me was actually repairing me from the inside out. How has pregnancy healed me? Well it’s funny because pregnancy has a way of healing our bodies if we have immune dysfunction and for some it is only temporary (while pregnant), but for others it calms and resets the immune system. In the last year and a half of my life I have felt God refining me on a painful level. I can feel Him stripping the once fruitful branches, only to show me they were impeding new and better growth.

When I was stripped, I felt like my world had been taken from me. It felt as though everything I thought God had placed in my life He had suddenly been taken away. And without a big abundant tree to hide behind, I had to get real about dealing with myself head on. I had to go deeper into spiritual truths of my Father. Learning more about His character not my own. It was in those months that I felt God’s tender love so sweetly.

Week after week I could feel him planting new branches. Fruitful branches.  Branches that took more hard work than I had imagined sowing into. It meant facing ugly in the eye and learning how to biblically respond. Also late nights of tear soaked pillows wrestling with God to give me a break. My entire heart, my entire spirit, then the sweetest intimacy with God I had ever experienced.

Although I still didn’t understand His ways I knew them to be good. I can see they are good despite some of my fleshly realities still in so much turmoil. As I wrestled with a body that felt like it was failing me I still knew – He. Is. Good.

God Carries Us Through

The thing about going deeper with God is understanding His character without using our present circumstance to measure His goodness. His character never changes based on our diagnosis, or present tribulation. He is using it. He is using every ounce of it.

So on December 25th at twelve in the afternoon, two pink lines were confirmation and although it wasn’t the plan I still declare HE IS GOOD. I know this because I know my father. He is good, whether He is presenting me with a gift, or taking away.  I seek Him in dark, deep seasons and He always carries me through. The day He blessed me with a life I didn’t plan, I praised Him for His uncomprehendable and perfect plan.  A plan my mind could not dream up for myself. 

On that Christmas morning, in messy pajamas, Christmas presents all across the floor, my branches…little more full. This time I knew they were un-doubtable fruitful and I thank God for this season of pruning. Every kick I feel this sweet baby make, my heart sings. Mind is learning in this season, that He is always always good.

My prayer for today:

Father I thank you for the seasons of immense pruning in our lives. God I pray that in those seasons we do not resist your working.  Allow us to press in totally and completely to you and what it is you are teaching us.  Give us strength to recognize what you are removing from our lives. Lord I pray for perseverance  in the struggles. I pray that through our trials we only have a deeper desire to know you more intimately father.  I pray for hearts that do not look to their situations to determine their goodness. Allow us to seek your word to learn the true and perfect attributes of your perfect character.

Father I pray that you comfort hearts that are in seasons of unknowing. Lord I pray for guidance as we walk out the plans you have for our lives. I ask that you never stop pruning us in order for us to most apply serve you. Lord let us not waste any opportunity to grow deeper with you. Father I ask that you give us hearts that sing you are good in every season of our life. It is in your name we pray. Amen.

Written by Shauna

wife, pediatric nurse, dog lover, adoption enthusiast, mama to two littles from central america, daughter of a king, lover of missions & global awareness in at risk communities.

6 thoughts on “Good Father

  1. This post is amazing and speaks to me on a level like no other…this part is pure gold;

    “The thing about going deeper with God is understanding His character without using our present circumstance to measure His goodness.”

    It’s hard for us as humans to not look at our lives and measure God with the tried and true, “what have you done for me lately” mentality. Imagine if the roles were reversed and God was asking us, “what have you done for me lately?”

    Thank you so much for this!

  2. When I was 7 I went into a coma and when I awoke, there a physician stood, saying over me, “you have type 1 diabetes, you cant be the same kid anymore, you will take medications for the rest of your life.” I believed these statements. For nearly 30 years I took insulin injections and adderall. I had asked HIM to cure me thousands of times, each prayer prayed with increasing fervor, each deliverance session more powerful than the last. After becoming a naturopath/chiropractor and medical missionary I saw thousands of healings (most miraculous-usually occurring at time of intercession) take place across 3 continents. Not by my hand but HIS. “Stretch out your hand with healing power may miraculous signs and wonders be performed through your holy servant Jesus.” I will not go into detail of the depth of spiritual attacks I have encountered due to being an open vessel to save people from hells fiery gates. There were nights I heard so many voices, I wanted to place a gun to my head. This season came to an end when I met and married my husband last year. A short time after sharing our first kiss on the alter and most filling night of our lives, we found out we were pregnant. Talk about a honeymoon baby!! This news was a miracle. However, it was the start of the a pruning season and most physically afflicting time of my life. First, I was told I needed to stop taking the adderall. (As a doctor that promotes natural health and NOT taking drugs, this is a medication I’ve always chosen not to discuss due to my own personal use.) I will not go into detail about the battle I faced in coming off this drug. It was not pretty. Present truth: I never needed amphetamines, ADHD is a CURSE and ADDERALL is an addiction. The next battle i faced was my blood sugars. Throughout my entire pregnancy, I was unable to keep down any food down due to severe nausea and vomiting. My blood sugars would then drop and I’d be rushed to the ER. After some time, due to not eating I became so vitamin deficient I would pass out walking up the stairs or being outside in the heat. One day, while rushing to make a prenatal appt, I passed out in the parking garage and woke up to 2 men in their 70’s carrying me to the security cart. I decided to do something! My blood sugars were so low all the time, I decided to stop taking my insulin. Immediately, my blood sugars normalized, I stopped passing out, I stopped vomiting, and I could finally properly nourish my body and growing baby! A few weeks later, Shepherd Prince decided to come into the world. And as I hold him in my arms right now, I praise God for my healing. You see, it felt so good to be free from those medications, I decided to find out how to live in a way that I could keep my healing! Haha, and praise God it’s the same thing I’ve been preaching to my very own patients!!! To this day, I am off insulin.

  3. God is truly moving and working so many great things in your life Shauna. “I had to go deeper into spiritual truths of my Father. Learning more about His character not my own.” It can be hard to dig deeper into God when we want to do what we think is right. But we all know He is the master of our lives. We just have to submit.

  4. Sometimes we have our lives all worked out only to find that God already had it worked out from before the foundations of the earth. Thank you for this reminder that living a life totally submitted to God brings blessings that we could not imagine or even think of. Great post!

  5. Wow Shauna! What a journey you’ve through. Thank you for being so transparent; I don’t know how you have remained so strong through all of this. This post is motivational and truly amazing… PS, Congratulations!

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