Recently I enjoyed a heart-to-heart with my husband’s youngest sister. It was one of those life/love/laughter scented in coffee aroma type of conversations. At some point, I dropped a bombshell…. “You know, I’m not sure I believe in soul mates. I think I could have enjoyed a happy marriage with several other guys besides your brother” (my husband of almost 9 years). I could immediately see the confusion and hesitation in her eyes as she really didn’t know what to make of what I just said. She loves me, has admired me since she was 8 years old, and here I am shattering her precious soul. Surely her brother was my soul mate! Didn’t I believe God had created us and united us together for life?
Does God Design Soul Mates?
The idea that God created one particular person with which to experience life-long love is truly lovely, it sounds distinctive, and even at first glance seems a biblical attitude (after all, wasn’t Eve the perfect girl for Adam?)
Of course, God doesn’t desire us to chase after lustful pleasure, teasing and sleeping with every attractive physic passing by. But are we sure the idea of a romantic soul mate was his intention either?
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We all desire love. God created us to love, be loved, share love. He also created us to enjoy perfect love with only one other….Himself. In this life we can enjoy the shadows of his perfect love through human relationships, but they are just glimpses of the real thing. All relationships are purposed to reveal more of God’s character in and through us, including marriage.
The problem is, we forget what marriage is. We forget the purpose of marriage, why it exists to begin with, and as such it’s been twisted into something more self-serving than God-serving.
We want someone to love US, rather than strengthen us in our love for GOD.
Remember the Purpose of Marriage
What did Jesus say about it? “Marriage is for people here on earth. But in the age to come, those worthy of being raised from the dead will neither marry nor be given in marriage.” Luke 20:34-35
Yes, God created the marriage relationship to provide companionship (Genesis 2), pleasure (Proverbs 5:18-19), protection of purity (1 Corinthians 7), and encouragement. But those are just the sideline benefits of something much deeper. Marriage is a covenant image of God’s sacrificial love for the church, His bride. That’s why marriage is sacred while even still temporary. Once we step into the fullness of relationship with God in eternity, we won’t need an image. We will have the real thing. Your soul mate may last on the earth, but God’s love is eternal.
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When we begin to place another person’s love so high up on a pedestal in our hearts, we enter dangerous waters. As Christians, our full affection should be centered on God and God alone. If God blesses us with a friend and romantic love for life, that’s amazing! But if he doesn’t it is just as amazing that we can share in a love relationship with the Father.
So, can you have a Soul Mate?
Maybe, as long as that soul mate is directing you towards the only eternal lover of your soul, and as long as your hearts affection is fixed upon the only salvation of your soul.
Is there only one other human in the world that can do that? I can’t answer that fully. But I do know that if your heart is centered on the source of all love, the experience of God’s love with someone you love will be all the more radiant.