Being able to write this post on my two year anniversary of dating my husband is a blessing in itself. I promise I never thought I would be in this place of peace, coming from where I was in my life before. God takes us through events in our lives to shape us, to grow us… I know, you’ve heard it a dozen times, but please believe me. Although it sucks during the process, it’s worth it in the end. Have you ever thought God didn’t love you like He loves others? That maybe you are a little lower on the totem pole than others because of choices you have made in your life? If you are having these thoughts, they are so far from the truth.
“For God does not show favoritism.” Romans 2:11 NIV
This scripture has been heavy on my heart for the last few weeks. God doesn’t love one group of people more than other or your friends more than you. We are all sinners, but Jesus Christ shed His blood for all of us, not some of us; that’s right…all of us.
After going through a divorce, I was on the dating scene for quite some time. Eventually I gave up. I figured I wasn’t good enough. All of the self doubt I previously had was creeping back in. I didn’t think God was pleased with me. The questions of whether or not I was a little lower on the totem pole than others was seeping back into my thoughts.
Be Ready Sometimes Life Throws You A Curve Ball
After being married once before, I had hung up the idea of God blessing me with a Godly husband. A husband who would love me like Christ loves the church. I remember thinking, who could possibly love me, an emotionally broken, previously married, mentally shattered woman? Wounds were fresh on the surface of my emotions. I had trust issues, questioned my self-worth, and doubted my abilities as a woman, as a wife, and as a person.
I was completely upside down in my emotions and my faith. The only thing that was going right was my career. And that is what I focused on. I completely buried myself in my work and lost more of myself. I enjoyed being independent and enjoyed being by myself. What I didn’t realize is I was doing more harm than good.
God Had Other Plans For My Life
God blessed with an amazing community of friends and women. Women who didn’t judge me for my past. A community of friends who accepted me for my past and what I was currently walking through. They loved me through the down times and they celebrated with me in my wins. They gave me tough love when I needed it and even when I didn’t want it. If you think you can get through life without the right support group, you are wrong. You need people in your life who are going to speak life, speak wholeness and truth in love in your life to you…both when you want to hear it and when you don’t.
During this time I learned to pray for my enemies, I learned forgiveness. I forgave my ex-husband and many other people in my life who hurt me deeply. Never had I felt so much weight lifted off of my life and rightly placed at the cross, where it belongs. God never intended for me to carry the pain and the weight of those things.
It Is Hard To Trust The Heart Of God When We Can’t See His Hand
God wants the simplest things from us. He wants our faithfulness and unfailing trust. I am beyond thankful that God blessed with a husband. It wasn’t in my timing, another thing I was struggling with. It is when we surrender fully to the timing of His word that the blessings come in abundance. Isn’t it funny that some of the best things happen when you least expect it? Stop watching the clock, stop counting the hours, the days, the weeks, the months. Live for the love of God and you will have a different perspective on life. When I was focused on nothing but Him, doing things His way, He was making my life better. He made the way.
Then Jesus said, “Did I not tell you that if you believe, you will see the glory of God?” John 11:40 NIV
I am oh so humbled. I realize the blessing on my life, and I am thankful for my relationship. It’s not perfect, it’s not always peaches and cream as people say. Relationships are hard, and marriage requires work, but when you are both at the feet of Jesus Christ, your foundation can never be broken.
Love will truly happen when you decide to accept the entire journey.