No matter what the context is, there is a message that sex sends. Are you communicating messages of love and trust, or of selfishness and lust? Our culture is over sexualized and we believe so many lies about it even down to the belief that it makes the other person feel loved by pressing for it. Asking for sex before marriage does not communicate love, in fact, it communicates the opposite of love.
Sex before marriage sends a message that I am NOT willing to wait for anything.
If either person in the relationship is constantly pushing for sex, they are communicating this truth. Whether that’s your intention or not, that’s what the other person will hear. It’s constantly sending the message that I care more about my immediate desires than I do you, I want this now, and I won’t wait.
If we cannot learn to make sacrifices in our dating relationships then how is a marriage ever going to work? Two different people, from two different backgrounds are going to have to make sacrifices and compromise in order to have a healthy relationship. Learn to love each other without it. Communicate that they are valuable and worth the wait.
Sex before marriage sends a message that your body is more valuable to me than your soul.
I lust you… I mean, I love you. We get these mixed up pretty often don’t we? While physical attraction is a big motivator for who we choose to date it can’t be all we have going for us. We need to place value on the soul of our partner. What are we doing to build them up, how are we strengthening them? We need to place value on it, and then we need to show them we value their soul above their body.
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How? Waiting for sex is obviously a big one. Take interest in their spiritual life, pray for and with them. Read the Bible together, and most importantly, love them like you love yourself. Give them the best you can, treat them with honor and respect. Show them they are significant, and that they are more than just a body. They were not made to make you happy, they were made to be on a team with you. If you expect them to make sacrifices for you then you’d better be willing to do the same. Love them as a whole, don’t just take the parts you like.
Natural, Designed by God, and Designed for a Purpose
Sex Is Not…
Casual, Self Satisfying, or Unnatural
Sex is a valuable gift, and it needs to be treated that way. There are a thousand messages that are being communicated to you by media and when you start on that path you’re communicating thousands of messages to your significant other. Pay close attention to the messages you’re sending. Show your partner you care about them, and not just their body. If you’re married, teach these values to your children, they need to understand the value of sex, and why it’s supposed to be saved.