UPDATE (Dec 30): On the advice of a friend, I went back and read my post through the eyes of a single guy who is single and seeking “the one”. I failed to use sufficient nuance to clarify the overall point of the blog and a natural reading could easily leave a solid Christian single guy thinking I was condemning him. My favorite author (CS Lewis) was single much of his life. Paul was single. Jesus was single. I wasn’t attempting to target all Christian single men and I sincerely apologize for my lack of clarity. I was trying to get at some of them. The blog was specifically targeted at young Christian men who are either sexually active or burning with lust AND yet remain “resistant to marriage”. In other words, I’m describing guys who should be actively seeking marriage but are pushing back against the idea of it or simply afraid of it. These kinds of Christian men date without intentions of getting married.
The local park near my previous home in Central Florida had peacocks that freely roamed the park grounds. I enjoyed walking up to the peacocks because these birds would unfurl their magnificent array of tail feathers whenever they felt threatened. Of course, when the vibrant display failed to ward off the threat (me), the peacock would tuck tail and run.
Millennial males remind me of peacocks. Not all of them but a lot of them and specifically those who call themselves Christians yet remain resistant to the institution of marriage.
What confounds me about Christian millennial males is that they often look very impressive on the outside. Like a peacock’s pretty feathers, they too have an impressive exterior. They might attend church regularly and even serve in some capacity. They sing praise songs with hands lifted high and hearts crying out to the Lord for his Spirit. While I don’t question the sincerity of their faith, I do want to call into question the seriousness of it.
In the beginning, God created everything and He called it good. A sinless Adam was placed in the garden and told to get to work. But it didn’t take long before God surveyed Adam’s bachelor life and thought “Whoa, it is not good for Adam to be alone.” Think about that. It was unhealthy for a sinless Adam to be without an Eve. How much more damaging for a sin-drenched male in the 21st century to be alone? It is not good for these Christian males to be single.
Sadly, millennial males are rejecting marriage at an alarming rate compared to previous generations. Apparently, these guys disagree with God. They have surveyed their lives and thought “It is good for me to be alone.” They are wrong. While God has given some the gift of singleness, these millennial males aren’t using their singleness to make disciples and grow the kingdom. Instead, they are using their bachelor status to live for themselves with their secret porn addictions and their private sexual exploits with their girlfriends.
One thing I’ve noticed about many of these millennial males is that, like a peacock, they often tuck tail and run when they feel threatened. Whether it’s a prodding parent or a girlfriend that longs to tie the knot, these millennial males feel threatened and so they remain emotionally distant.
I have one simple message for these Christian millennial males as they enter 2015. Resolve to get married. Find a wife, find a way to provide for her, and then serve her. Until you do, you will be digging a deeper hole of soul-destroying habits while deeply grieving the Holy Spirit inside you. Trust God when He observes your bachelor status and says “It is not good for you to be alone.” I think if you’re honest, you know God is right. His greater blessings await you.
Its time for Christian millennial males to acknowledge the obvious and embrace biblical manhood. Until they do, they’re just peacocks. And a peacock, at the end of the day, is just a turkey.