The Lord is really impressing it upon my heart to simply share some of my own personal struggles. I believe there are some people reading this who can relate, and I hope that we are both encouraged by this post. I have experienced tough seasons. I’ve really been fighting for faith and for hope. Not hope for salvation, but hope that I will actually become everything that God has created me to be in this life. I am fighting through faith.
For well over a year now, it feels like I’ve been trying to get back to some previous version of myself in my walk with God. I have been fighting, scratching and clawing to attain a level of faith I thought for sure I had already attained.
Throughout this season, when I hear other people talking about their amazing revelations and experiences with the Lord, it just brings on feelings of condemnation and failure. I can’t figure out why I am not having those experiences, or what I need to do to get back to that place.
I used to be so excited about getting up in the mornings, reading my bible, and spending time in God’s presence. Lately, it feels like I have to drag myself out of bed, and then I have to fight just to stay awake while I am with Him.
I know I know, not very encouraging to this point! Through faith…I’ll get there!
Thankfully, what I do have is a long history of God’s faithfulness to stand on. I have fought through seasons like this before, and He has always broken through and helped me experience His freedom again.
What I also have is brothers and sisters in Christ encouraging me and challenging me to keep pressing forward. I have a book established by God Himself full of stories that show His faithfulness. That book also contains hundreds of promises showing that He will never give up on me as His son.
For the record, I do not believe that this struggle is “normal” Christianity. I don’t believe that we all have to go through these ups and downs in our walk with Christ. Typically, these struggles can be traced back to a lack of surrender on our part.
Related Post: Remember That God is Faithful [Even in Seasons of Lack]
God’s will is clearly for us to be in unity with Him always. To sense His presence, hear His voice, and follow Him every second of every day. He doesn’t withhold that from anyone. Christ made it fully available to us through the cross. Only we can limit ourselves from experiencing that level of intimacy with God continuously.
However, I have also come to understand that God’s patience is beyond comprehension. My mind and will are resolute in the fact that nothing in all of creation can separate me from His love, including my own shortcomings.
For example, I have to come to see that while Jesus never wanted Peter to deny Him, forgiving Peter for that moment of weakness was so easy for Jesus. Jesus didn’t even have to mull it over and consider it. He immediately forgave Peter, and encouraged Peter to keep following Him.
God’s patience is beyond comprehension.
How does that apply to someone who might be reading this today feeling the same way I am feeling? Well, while our freedom might feel so distant and far away, the truth is that it is right in front of us and within our reach.
This answer is simple: through faith we must trust and believe.
The answer is found in fully embracing the fact that the same Jesus who embraced Peter after His betrayal, is the same Jesus that we entrusted our lives to. We may feel like He is angry and distant, but we can simply choose to believe the opposite. The truth is that He is standing right in front of us saying, “I will never leave you nor forsake you! I am right here and I love you! Just let go and give it all back to me. I am good and you can trust me!”
Friends, I am as guilty as anyone for believing that the way out of a dry season is to work your way out. I am guilty of thinking that if I can just do better then God will accept me again and bring me back in to a place of rest. It makes sense from the world’s standards, but not from God’s. If the way we came into His rest was through faith, not works, then why would we assume the way back was through anything other than faith?
In the Kingdom, we experience God’s salvation through faith. In the Kingdom, it’s not about earning His favor. It is about believing that we already have it through Jesus Christ.
The bottom line is this, what I need in my current season, and what some of you may also need, is a fresh revelation. A fresh revelation of God himself; His goodness, His grace, His mercy, His promises. The Bible says that it is His goodness that leads us to repentance. When we see how good He is, we will trust Him. Will will obey Him, and experience Him in ways we never thought possible. We won’t go back to some previous version of ourselves. He will mold us into something greater than we could even imagine.