Where is Your Faith in Trying Times – Faith in Miscarriage

Have you ever noticed your faith tank on empty until faith is your only option? It's what you come to rely on when all else seems to be failing you.

When was the last time you exercised your faith? How do you have faith in something that you’ve never seen before? Is there a certain amount of faith that you have to have until you finally give up? How do you have faith when you’ve been let down before?

When it comes to my relationship with God and my spiritual walk, these are all questions I’ve had to answer for myself. Sometimes these are questions that I’ve asked myself. Faith is a great thing in theory. But when you are in the midst of trying times or knee-deep in a difficult situation, it can be hard to have. It can be hard to keep.

I thought this article would be harder for me to write, but it turns out it’s not that difficult. Let’s face it; my life is an open book at the end of the day. I have nothing to hide and have never hidden anything from you all. So why start now?

Having Faith Means It Will Get Tested

At the end of 2019, shortly before Thanksgiving, my husband and I were pregnant. It was a joyful time for our family and us. The first part of this testimony is a little gut-wrenching. We initially went to one doctor, who said they could not see our pregnancy. After taking multiple pregnancy tests, I knew that I was pregnant. God told me I was pregnant. After almost passing out in their office with this news, I told them to wait and see. You will see it in seven days. The doctor proceeded to stare at me with a “poor lady” look, but I wasn’t having it.

“Return to your fortress, you prisoners of hope; even now I announce that I will restore twice as much to you.” – ‭‭Zechariah‬ ‭9:12‬ ‭NIV

Later that evening, when I got home, God told me to show them. So I proceeded to, in typical Virginia fashion, send them an email. I declare God’s word over my body and our baby. My husband relentlessly prayed over us day after day for seven days. On the seventh day, we returned to their office to see a perfectly viable pregnancy. The witnessing of that miracle, I don’t believe, was for me. To this day, I believe there was someone in that office who God was trying to touch, and he used us to touch them.

“I will not die but live, and will proclaim what the Lord has done.” – Psalms‬ ‭118:17‬ ‭NIV‬‬

Having Faith In The Waiting is Like Watching Paint Dry

Now I can’t lie and say that those seven days of waiting were easy, because they were far from that. A true test of my faith, as I continue to go to work, serving my church, pray relentlessly day in and day out and stand on the firm foundation of God’s word. That he knows the desires of my heart. Of course, it was a big sigh of relief when we went back to the office seven days later and saw our baby. Of course, after that, we switched offices.

Related PostGrieving on the Wrong Side of the Grave

The holidays were a little extra special. We purchased ornaments about expecting in 2020, bought my parents surprise gifts as well. We even had a baby size stocking on the fireplace next to the stockings for our other kids. Our spiritual tanks were overflowing with joy. If I can be honest, I was a little afraid because I had previously miscarried about ten years ago. So while the excitement was on full, there was still a small nugget of fear in the back of my mind. It’s important to remember, although the things in your past may try to resurface, or you may have similar experiences, leave your past behind you and continue to look forward to a brighter future. Leave Your Past Behind You: Demons Behind Me Inspirational Clothing Line

Tested Faith Does Not Always Produce an Earthly Win

At the beginning of this year, God called our precious pregnancy to an end. We are still in the middle of grieving, but at the same time, what a beautiful act of love and mercy. If I can be honest, I know God does not want bad things to happen to us. Perhaps our child was not growing properly, or something terrible may have happened later on in the pregnancy. Instead of experiencing the pain later, God loves us enough to spare us. Even when the sparing also seems like a punishment.

“He rescues me unharmed from the battle waged against me, even though many oppose me.” – Psalms‬ ‭55:18‬ ‭NIV‬‬

Some people ask if you have faith in God, why did you have fears?

Honestly, my husband and some friends and family had these questions. How could God do this to you? How do you still have faith after all you’ve done for God and your community and for this to still happen to you? Trust me; there isn’t anything that anyone can say that will calm the questions that fill your broken heart. There are also no easy answers or quick fixes. Sometimes it can be hard to fully understand the hard truth, that bad things can, will and do happen to good people. No matter what age, no matter what stage in life. This can be harder to grasp for young, innocent children.

I think the hardest part for me (in both instances where I had failed pregnancies) is questioning why God tells us to multiply, but yet he still took the lives of two unborn children away from me.

“God blessed them and said to them, “Be fruitful and increase in number; fill the earth and subdue it. Rule over the fish in the sea and the birds in the sky and over every living creature that moves on the ground.” – Genesis 1:28 NIV

What helps me is knowing that on the other side of this world, God is holding them both in his arms. That the process my family had to experience wasn’t in vain. Through my testimony, the lives of doctors were changed at the first medical office. Lives at both offices were changed because they witnessed my faith through the pain. I know that I am not alone. Many have gone through similar situations, and through it all, God walks alongside us. John 14:16 NIV In addition to being comforted in the spirit, I am blessed to have a community of friends I do life with. Without them, walking through situations like these would be impossible. He helps us through the grief and pain that comes with losing your child. John 14:16 NIV

My Faith is Still Strong

Through all of these events, the crying, the nights on the living room flooring screaming out to God, my faith is still strong. When you have nothing else, what better to hold on to? My husband and I are continuing to pray to God for me to have a child. We won’t give up; we will continue to be relentless in our prayers. Even if our journey is complicated, it is always worth it and ever a teaching moment. In the end, I am already a parent, with three beautiful bonus children. My heart is full.

Related PostSecond Chances in Life: Blended Family

Some Answers Just Aren’t That Simple.

Being a follower of God doesn’t mean that all fear is removed, or that faith doesn’t exist. Being a follower of God doesn’t mean that we are always going to get what we ask for. The enemy will do his best to tell you that you aren’t worth anything. He will try to remind you that no matter how hard you pray, or how faithful you are, that God will and does forget about you.

I can honestly say when tragic events happen, sometimes we are quick to push God away. I got angry at him and I told him about it. People have told me God can handle our anger, so I let it out. It’s not healthy to hold in, so why bite my tongue? I always end up apologizing 10-minutes later, but at least it’s not stuck in my heart. Getting angry is a normal reaction.

I’ve had this song on repeat for the last two months while praying for my pregnancy and healing from the loss:

WAYMAKER (LIVE)

  • Way maker, miracle worker, promise keeper light in the darkness.
  • My God, that is who you are.
  • Even when I don’t see it, you’re working.
  • Even when I don’t feel it, you’re working.
  • You never stop, you never stop working.
  • You never stop you never stop working.

Reach Out to Me You Are Not Alone

For women and even men who are reading this and are in a season of life with pregnancy or trying to get pregnant, I would like to recommend a bible reading plan. I went through before I even got pregnant. It’s great and reminds you of the little things to remember to pray over your soon to be child.

For women and even men who are reading this and may have experienced a miscarriage (remember, this is my second one), so I know all of the feelings you are experiencing. I recommend another bible reading plan.

Pregnancy Prayers – Pray For Your Baby

7 Stages of Grief After Miscarriage

Question from Virginia A. DePratter, the author.

How have you kept your faith during trying times?

Written by Virginia A. DePratter

I would rather stand with God and be judged by the world, than to stand with the world and be judged by God. My mission in life is to help others see their full potential and help people maximize their talents.

26 thoughts on “Where is Your Faith in Trying Times – Faith in Miscarriage

  1. Hi Virginia, thank you for this timely post. As you know, Pam and I have been struggling with infertility. It’s been a long journey and we’re not sure when or how it will end. We’ve been struggling with it for 10ish years. It’s a constant battle for her and me. For me, I see my wife struggling with doubts and confusion as to why she isn’t getting pregnant. Those doubts and confusion spill into other areas of life. Sometimes we don’t know what God is doing or why He is doing it. This is one of those times but we know He is faithful through it all.

    1. Thank you for commenting and sharing Joseph. No matter what, God has planned for it all and I will be praying for you both.

  2. What a wonderful testimony Virginia and what wonderful responses. My wife Liz and I also had a miscarriage long before I became a Christian and I probably blamed it on God since I blamed God for everything. I am 67 now and my Liz passed 2 years ago after being married 48 years. Boy did I cuss and scream at God for that. I am a Christian now and Liz left me with 3 wonderful children. There is a song that has always carried me on called “We’ll Understand it Better By and By” Bless you and your family.

  3. Powerful words, Virginia. Thanks for the bravery in sharing your story. Many will benefit, and many already have benefitted.

    We sing “Waymaker” too, and it hits on so many levels. Thanks for sharing verses from it too.

    Even when I don’t see it, you’re working.
    Even when I don’t feel it, you’re working.
    You never stop, you never stop working.
    You never stop you never stop working.

    1. Thank you Ben. My prayer is to reach out to women who have experienced this same thing and to remind them that they are not alone.

  4. Virginia,
    I’m honored to be a witness of your faith journey. Blessed wife, daughter, bonus mother, sister, friend, prayer warrior, are all labels you hold. You live your life out loud as a Daughter of the Most High God; therefore, your testimony reaches far and wide. Your journey is not in vain and you will wear another label- faithful. Thank you for being transparent and vulnerable for the glory of our Father.

    1. Dawn you are too kind. I will proudly take the title of faithful. I have a long way to go, but we all get better each and everyday. Thank you for your kind words.

  5. V,
    I am blessed to know you & walk through this journey with you. Your faith will move mountains in many lives, seen & unseen. The most inspirational part of your story is that it’s not over! Often we only hear stories of the miraculous AFTER the miracle had happened. Touching stories told in hindsight, while miraculous & moving, can leave those in the midst of waiting feeling unreached. Sharing your testimony as it unfolds is a demonstration of what it truly means to walk by faith. Thank you for your courage, vulnerability, transparency and BOLD FAITH!! I am here to witness this miracle of God’s beautiful blessing that he’s knitting for you & Oby. XoXo

    1. You are absolutely right. Most testimonies are told at the end. What great love it is to watch the story unfold and I will always continue to be transparent, especially here, with my journey as I always have. Our testimonies are proof that God will always come through for us, it may take time, but it happens. We just have to be open and willing to walk it out.

      Thank you for reading and commenting. We love you!

  6. I am proud, grateful and blessed that God has put us in each other’s life. We gave been through so many seasons together. Some side by side, some from a distance but in the end always together.
    You are and a good daughter and He is a good Father. One of my favorite prayers always reminds me of you.
    God had a plan for your life. The enemy has a plan for your life. Just be ready for both, and wise enough to know which one to battle and which one to embrace.
    I love you V.

    1. Love you too Chole, we’ve definitely been through many seasons together. The great news is God has been there right beside us, keeping us sane!!

      Such a great prayer, God has a plan and the enemy has a plan. Embrace vs. battle. I love it.

  7. In Puerto Rico we have a saying PALANTE which means forward.. Its a March forward with our head held high and the knowledge that tomorrow will be better. So proud to call you my sister! Standing with you. 💓

    1. What a great word and yes, we can always move forward in Christ!! He is such an amazing Father!! Thank you Isa.

  8. Beautifully written,. We are human and can struggle understanding that it’s Gods plan, God doesn’t make mistakes and it’s on his time. But our faith can help us get through it all. I wish you healing, love & faith!

    1. Thank you Mariel. We appreciate you both for the role you have in our lives. Thank you for standing beside us. God is good and his blessings are always above our expectations!!

  9. Your story has struck my heart in a wrenching and glorious way! I can only imagine your loss through your story, but my heart is filled with joy on how you have kept your faith through it! You are so right about trusting God that everything happens for a good reason. We may not know why we have to go through such pain at the time, but He will reveal it in time. Thank you for sharing this incredibly personal loss and your journey in faith to get through…

    1. Thank you for taking the time to read it Kathy. I know you have recently experienced your own loss and I know it’s tough. You’re right, God is always in control and although we may not understand it, it all has a purpose. xoxo

  10. Thank you for sharing part of your journey with us Virginia. I recall going through similar situations where my faith has been tested and doubt consumed my heart. It was not an easy season to endure through, but as you mentioned in your blog, God always has his best interests in mind for us. So blessed reading this. Thank you!

    1. Thank you Crystal. It’s definitely easier said than done, but when you surrender (funny how God have me that word for my 2020) when you truly surrender, it becomes natural. Natural doesn’t mean easy. I’ve had plenty of crying and sleepless nights. But I know God and the Holy Spirit captured all of my tears and all of my fears and is going to release them at the right time.

  11. I would love to know your Bible reading plan for pregnancy/trying to get pregnant! My husband and I have been trying for about 6 months now. I know it isn’t very long, but due to some health issues I sometimes get seriously discouraged. I’ve been pouring my heart out to God and keep reminding myself that my life is His plan, not mine. Thank you!!

    1. Thank you for your comment. Please don’t let anyone make you feel like 6 months isn’t long. To be honest, my husband and I didn’t really start trying until 5 months ago and it felt like eternity.

      I really poured myself into “Supernatural Childbirth” by Jackie Mize. I would literally listen to it at night and just let it play in my ear, even if I fell asleep. I never stopped speaking my pregnancy into existence. Even today while we are still in the midst of the miscarriage process I am declaring a healthy, viable pregnancy in the near future. My husband is doing the same thing. Statements such as “I will be pregnant with a healthy baby…God is preparing my womb… My body is in alignment with the word of God…” all of those positive and reinforcing statements are like gold! But one pair of baby shoes and put them on your nightstand, anything that is a positive reminder of your goal. And remember, it’s Gods timing, so continue to pray for His perfect plan and try not to get frustrated. I’m happy to speak with you more and encourage you.

      You’re doing a great job!

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